Education jokes

Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Why did the sun go to college?

Because it already have a million degrees!

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?

A school bus full of kids.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

A kid walks into the classroom on time.

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

I fucking hate school, god damn!

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

Why don't orphans go on trips at school?

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