Education jokes
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!