Education

Education jokes

9/11

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

School Bus

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

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  • Cow

    Teacher: What does a pig give you?

    Little Johnny: Bacon.

    Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

    Little Johnny: Wool.

    Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

    Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

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  • Kid

    Kid: Where do I put this paper?

    Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

    Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

    Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

    Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

    Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

    Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

    Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

    Kid: Yes, you told me to!

    Teacher: I meant at school!

    Kid: Ohhhhhh!

    Teacher: Duh!

    Memes

    Asian

    How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

    The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

    Debt

    Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!

    School

    Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

    Always take it with a grain of assault.

    Mummy

    Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

    Spider

    Why don’t spiders go back to school?

    Because they learn everything on the web.

    Physics

    My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

    Orphan

    Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

    School shooting

    So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

    Hormone

    So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

    Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

    Uranus

    Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

    Kids yell: Sun.

    Except for one.

    Other kid: Uranus.

    Teacher: Uranus?

    Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

    Shooter

    When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

    School

    Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

    Teacher: What kind of appointment?

    Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

    True story.

    Pen

    Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

    Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

    Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

    Penaldo

    It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!