Education jokes
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.