Education jokes
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Memes
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Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
How do you know youâve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Why donât spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, itâs just another day in an American school."
Teacher: Whatâs the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, itâs right there.
Me: Sorry I couldnât make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. đđđ
True story.