Education jokes

How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!

There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of screaming children.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.

Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"