Education jokes
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn his ABCs (All 'Bout Cash)!
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Why did the sun go to college?
Because it already have a million degrees!
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.