Education

Education jokes

Education memes

Parrot

    • A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.

    "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.

    "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"

    "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.

    "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."

    "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."

    "Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"

    "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."

    The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."

    "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."

    The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."

    "What!?" says the man.

    "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."

    "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"

    "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."

    "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"

    "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."

    "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.

    "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."

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    • Asian

    • How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

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    • Shooter

    • When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

    Teacher

    • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: no one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

    Little Johnny: *stands up*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

    Miscarriage

    • One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

    Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

    "Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

    "Maybe it was a tricycle."

    "Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

    The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

    Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

    That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

    Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

    Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

    Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

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    • Teacher

    • My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

    I said, "Paper."

    She said, "Really?"

    I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"