Education jokes
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"