Education jokes

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

What did the koala do when he was too educated?

He ran away from koalapidia.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

What type of alphabet does an elf learn?

The elf-abet.

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.

What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.