Education jokes

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

What type of alphabet does an elf learn?

The elf-abet.

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.

What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?

"Bye son!"

Get it? Bye son, Bison!

What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.

Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.