Education jokes
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.