Education jokes

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

What is green and looks like a school bus?

A school bus.

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

What is the leader of the school supplies?

The ruler!

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

What did the letter A say to the letter B?

"Z" you later.

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.