Education jokes

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

What is the leader of the school supplies?

The ruler!

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

What did the letter A say to the letter B?

"Z" you later.

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!