There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
If you are poor, get money.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
money + money = MONEY
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
"Sharing is communism."
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
