Eating jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Dababy in my dickle trickle when eating my pickle.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.