Eating jokes

Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.

Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?

To eat chicken!

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?

A: Eat my dust.

Your mum is so fat she eats all day!

Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?

So he could querk.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

Why did the skeleton eat tacos?

Because he was hungry.

Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?

Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!

Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.

Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?