Eating jokes
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...