Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Eating Jokes
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Never eat more than you can lift.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What is a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Brownies.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
