Eating jokes
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Save the plants, eat a vegan.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
I eat ass.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂