Eating jokes
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What is a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Brownies.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
"Curry muncher!"
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈