Eating jokes
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
"Curry muncher!"
Memes
Relatable
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!