Eating jokes
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Save the plants, eat a vegan.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)