Eating jokes
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
I would tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.