Eating jokes
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Memes
Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.