Eating jokes
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.