Eating

Eating jokes

Fish

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Momma

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Memes

Burger

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

Orphan

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

Kid

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

Pringles

When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.

Fridge

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

Food

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Plastic

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

Kid

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.