Eating jokes
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Memes
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.