Eating jokes
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"