Eating jokes
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.