Eating jokes
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Memes
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."