Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back? Sadly the hardest part to eat of the vegitable is the wheelchair.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
