Eating jokes
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!