Eating jokes

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

I eat cockroaches.

Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?

Me: I have depression, what do you think?!

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"

"Yea, it was crackers!"

Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?

To eat the Pringles.

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: To hide up cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

Kenny is a comfort snacker.

Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.

What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A big, red, rock eater.