Eating jokes

Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?

Me: I have depression, what do you think?!

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

I eat cockroaches.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"

"Yea, it was crackers!"

Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?

To eat the Pringles.