Eating jokes

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

They'll fall right through his hands.

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?

Me: I have depression, what do you think?!

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"

"Yea, it was crackers!"

Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?

To eat the Pringles.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"