Eating jokes
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!