Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
Last time I ate a vegetable I got banned from my sisters group home.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
