Eating jokes

How do you get a cow to eat?

Give it mooshrooms!

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

How did the cheetah greet other animals?

Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."

So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?

It made sour milk.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

What do mice eat for dinner?

Mac n Cheese.

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.