Eating jokes

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

How did the cheetah greet other animals?

Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."

Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?

It made sour milk.

Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?

A: Because he is a "herbefore."

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

What do mice eat for dinner?

Mac n Cheese.

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

How do fish get high?

Because they eat seaweed.