Eating jokes
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Daveon be eating Quaker Oats.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!
Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂