Eating jokes
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."