Eating jokes

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂

What do cats eat for breakfast?

"Mice Krispies!"

Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

Why can't an Asian play baseball?

'Cause they always eat the bat!

Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Because there is no family.

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

How do you get a cow to eat?

Give it mooshrooms!

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"