Eating jokes
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Deez nuts eat nuts.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)