Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
