Eating jokes
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
I hate cereal, lol.
What I say when I eat cereal: "Ewww!"
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
Eat my butt.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!