Eating jokes
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.