Eating jokes
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.