Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Stephen Hawkins and his wife Siri’s favourite place to eat is meals on wheels😂
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
Eat my butt.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
wHAT DID I EAT FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDSAY?
10 YEAR OLDS
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
