Eating

Eating jokes

Cake

  • What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

    Fat, you get fat.

    What? Were you expecting a pi joke?

  • 3
  • Sugar

  • Johnny Johnny?

    Yes pa pa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

  • 0
  • Broccoli

  • So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

  • 2
  • Amount

  • Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.

    Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

    Pussy

  • Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

    Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

  • 3
  • Pillow

  • I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

    Anorexic

  • I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

  • 0
  • Oyster

  • What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?

    Realizing you only put in 4.

  • 2
  • Funeral

  • Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

  • 3