Eating jokes
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
I saw a bear eating a duck.
It was unBEARable.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.