Dying jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die. His charger broke.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.