Dying jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat…
The West is dying.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
You die. LOL!
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.