Dying jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Me die.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?