Dying jokes
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.