Dying jokes
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
My dog died today. 😥
My dog died. I'm so sad.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.