Dwarf jokes
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Dwarf Shortage.
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.