Dwarf jokes
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Dwarf Shortage.
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”