A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Dwarf Jokes
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Midget
Does a midget count as an orphan?
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
How is the weather down there?
What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
What do you call a dwarf?
Adrian!
What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?
Broken plates.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
