Dwarf jokes
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Does a midget count as an orphan?
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”