Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"
Dude named Guys:
Dude named Out:
Dude named School:
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
I hate 9/11 jokes...They always crash and burn like dude its not funny?
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
