Dude

Dude jokes

Kid

  • Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

    Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

    Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

    Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

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  • Meatball

  • There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.

    His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"

    The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"

  • 0
  • Desk

  • My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

    Orphan

  • Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

    Other man: Because.

    Man: Because why!?

    Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

    Knock

  • Me: Knock knock.

    Some dude on the street: Who's there?

    Me: Whowhowho.

    Dude: Whowhowho who?

    Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

    Coffee

  • I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

    1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

    I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

    Popsicle

  • So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

    Orphan

  • An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

    Beef

  • "-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

    "- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"