Drug jokes
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."