Drug jokes
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."