Drug jokes

Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.

Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?

Because he can't handle 6 perks.

What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?

A stoner has papers.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?

TripAdvisor.com

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.