Drug jokes
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: broðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Memes
Rate my setup.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.