Dont jokes
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
What's the difference between Black and White people?
Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.