Dont jokes
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.