Dont jokes
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵