Dont jokes

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

Americans don't have trouble shooting!

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

B: Why?

A: Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Not Sally.

Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?

B: I don't know, why?

A: Because Sally was driving the car.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

I don't got free candy. It costs child support.

Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?

Because they weren't even wanted.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Why don't cows make good policemen?

Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!