Dont jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
No, I don't want to.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.