Dont jokes
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Peasants
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Don't listen.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.