I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
Child Support Candy
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Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, buttercup. This joke is about a dude who can't afford to give out free candy 'cause he's gotta pay child support. It's funny 'cause it's unexpected, and it's a sad commentary on parental responsibility. Bet you don't even know what commentary means, do ya?