Dont jokes
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!