Dont jokes
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.