Dont jokes

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.

The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.

Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"

The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

Sister: I don't want to do it, but...

Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.

What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?

They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.