Dont jokes
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.