Dont jokes

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

How is the world like dirt?

Because we don't think twice about it.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

Why can't orphans play catch?

Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

I would make a clock joke, but I don't have time.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

What do you call a mosquito in your language?

We don't call them, they just come and bite.

Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?

Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."

When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.

When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.

You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.

What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.