Dont jokes
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.