if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
Named my dog syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say “get Down syndrome”
Why did helen keller's dog kill it's self? I would to if all I heard was daaaaaaah!
A women walkes into a supermarket and sees a blined man swing a dog around in the air so the women walkes up to him and asked "what what are you doing" the man says " just having a look round"
The last thing I said to my dog was Play dead
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮💨
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats. My dog is named curiosity, and your cat is dead
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
why was the dog stealing shingles?
he wanted to be a woofer
I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
i pushed a dog into a fire and said "hot dog"
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?
That hit the spot?
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him rape
