Dog jokes
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.
Troo
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"