I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me: ...
Me: Bitch please.
Why don't blind people skydive? -- Because it scares their dogs too much!
whats the diffrence between a dog and a dad ? The dog comes back
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What do you call an asian Chihuahua A Konichiuahua
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, “Down, Syndrome!”
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
Like if your bestfriend has a dog
Dog walks into a bar.. & Sez to bartender . I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..
