Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
whats the diffrence between a dog and a dad ? The dog comes back
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dog for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Tayler Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
Like if your bestfriend has a dog
What do you call an asian Chihuahua A Konichiuahua
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.
What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together? They both love hot dogs
a hot dog and a banana had a race who won
the WIENER
What do you call a house with dog hair? A shed
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
