Dog jokes
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Memes
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
One of them is actually loved.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.