Dog jokes
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*