A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
