After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
What did one dog say to another dog? I love you
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you call a dog with no tails ? A tail leas dog
What do you do with a dog that has no legs, - Take him for a drag
What is a Mexican favorite type of dog.A Chihuahua
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his BARK TRACKS
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog
Why do Dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Aliana so fat she can't fit throw a hola hop.
When My do starts to bark he starts to get ruff
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
What time is when dogs 🐕 get hurt 😔? Time to take your dog to the vet
why did I shoot my dog
bcuz it pissed me offff ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha 👌👌😎
What do you call a bull dog and a shit tuz :a bullshit
How does the dog dance? He doesn't...he's dead
the cat ran across the road when the car swerved it killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut, the cat survived it all, the cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car... the cat still died why? It had a Catastrophic Catcident
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily rhe Husky were talking at Bob's jouse Lily: Bob do you think I'm fat? Bob: No Lily, of course not! Your just a little husky!!!! Lol Golden Retrievers are funny.
One dog said to the other dog “man it is hard sleeping on the floor” the other said “really?” “ i like my bed”
