Dog jokes
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
ASIANS>!?!?!?
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.