Dog jokes
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What's soft and feels like dog?
The fur coat I bought you from Temu.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.