Dog Jokes

Officer don’t arrest me she said she was 5 in dog years

what is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First ignore them until they ask you if your going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them would they get on all fours and bark back? After that continue to ignore them.

a blonde a brunette and a redhead are robbing a bank. the police are soon after them so they hide in a bunch of barrels. the police arrive and search the area, they come over too the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it, the brunette says "woof". "oh, it's just a dog" says the police officer and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. the redhead says "meow", "oh it's just a cat" says the officer then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden the blonde says "potato"

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie looking out of the kitchen window "I know," said her mother "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people I mean they already have enough on their plates ... like cats and dogs

What time is it when you get home can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕 today is the night I can drive

I adopted a dog. its gone now. At least homeless people in china are not starving.

My mom gave me a box of chocolates and she said life is like a box of chocolates but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

How do you know if an Asian has broke into your house? Your dog is gone. ;)

little johnny got a dog without earsand then they invited their neighbours over. then they asked what was his name. the owners said " we did'nt name him anything because there no reason because when we called his name, he would'nt come."