Dog jokes

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Dog.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!