Dog jokes
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
seriously
Watch this dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM8gBVjVTaQ
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Dear Gwen,
Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!
TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!
BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!
Please comment good or not! Irdc!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.