Dog jokes

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

Top ten dog breeds:

10. Dogs

9. Are

8. Beautiful

7. Animals

6. And

5. Judgement

3. Is

2. Cruel

1. Dachshund

What do you call a dog wearing a beret?

Smeargle!

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!

My dog died.