Dog jokes

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

Top ten dog breeds:

10. Dogs

9. Are

8. Beautiful

7. Animals

6. And

5. Judgement

3. Is

2. Cruel

1. Dachshund

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

What do you call a dog wearing a beret?

Smeargle!

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.

Why is a rap boat like a dog?

They both get off sniffing assholes.

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!

What do dogs eat? Dog food.